Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~ Maria Robinson
I have discovered the antidote for Murphy’s Law.
Before I reveal my exciting epiphany, I want to review Murphy’s Law for those of you who are not familiar with this gem of common sense.
Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.
Research will tell you Murphy’s Law was birthed at North Base on Edwards Air Force Base in 1949. It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Project MX981, a project designed to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash. (Source: Desert Wings. Weekly newspaper for the Edwards Air Force Base Community)
One day, after finding that a transducer was wired wrong, Murphy cursed the responsible technician saying, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.” The contractor’s project manager kept a list of “laws” and added this one, calling it Murphy’s Law.
Shortly afterwards, the Air Force doctor (Dr. John Paul Stapp) who rode a sled on the deceleration track to a stop, pulling 40 Gs, held a press conference. He attributed the good safety record on the project to a firm belief in Murphy’s Law and in the necessity to try and circumvent it.
In today’s terminology, Murphy’s Law went viral.
Not to be left behind, the Northrop project manager, George E. Nichols, claimed Nichols’ Fourth Law: “Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome.” Such insight might be why Nichols stayed around as the quality control manager for the Viking project to send an unmanned spacecraft to Mars.
What delightful visions might the Martians add?
The doctor, Col. John P. Stapp, tossed out a paradox called Stapp’s Ironical Paradox: “The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.”
Great story, but the original name for ‘if anything can go wrong it will’ was Sod’s Law because that was the fate of any poor sod who least needed a catastrophic event. That name, Sod’s Law, is less popular because Americans consider it a curse word and avoided it.
I am pretty sure the following is not true, but is such a great example of Murphy’s Law, I want to share it with you.
How Mr. Murphy died: One dark evening in the U.S., Mr. Murphy’s car ran out of gas. As he hitchhiked to a gas station, while facing traffic and wearing white, he was struck from behind by a British tourist who was driving on the wrong side of the road.
Incidentally, a lot of Brits think that Murphy’s Law is an Irish joke. Murphy is an Irish name of course and the Irish have been the target of jokes from the British for a long time. I am Irish and there may be a breath of truth in there.
Now, are you ready for the antidote?
Here it is: You’ve got to know when to fold them.
How karmic is it that the antidote is also a well know and esteemed saying?
Too bad that Custer wasn’t aware of the antidote; he could have used a double dose.
Although not specifically labelled as a psychic or spiritual cure, the phrase is taken from the song, The Gambler, introduced by country music singer Kenny Rogers in 1979. It won a Grammy Award for record of the year. Instinctively we felt its power.
You can read the words of the song at the end of this article.
Personally, I prefer to substitute risk taker for gambler. There is a slight but important distinction. A risk taker often uses math, statistics and research to evaluate the possibility of failure and then spells out the consequences, outcomes and obstacles before he/she tosses the coin.
I don’t frequent casinos because the taste of my Irish luck is usually bad. I do not have a poker face and I cringe watching people on auto pilot feeding coins into what seems like an open mouth then pulling the arm, hoping the machine will regurgitate before it becomes medically obese or the coins are all gone.
I am not judging anyone because I unearthed the antidote to Murphy’s Law as a result of my life-long philosophy of never give up and fight it out to the end.
Several months earlier, I decided to try something that was not meant for me and not meant to be. I should have taken the antidote but, even when I was sore from whipping myself into giving it one more shot, I would not let it go. My motivation to push myself beyond the point of reason was to know the feel of the laurel placed on my tired head.
Then, one morning, I reached a fork in that path I have written about in previous blogs; that moment when a character feels a flash of realization, awareness or inspiration that filters future moments through a new prism of light.
I was used to succeeding, to rising to the top and feeling good about myself. No, I take that back. Often, I did not feel good about myself. In truth I had siphoned off much of my joy.
My revelation was that, once I cleared the bar at its set point, I continued to raise it higher and higher. Not just for me but for the current audience watching my show. I used whatever props, techniques or miracles that I could conjure to jump higher and higher. Sometimes I knocked the bar over. Sometimes I scraped my shins as I went over and sometimes I hit the ground hard and it hurt.
I further acknowledged that I was not doing these things for myself but for someone else. Perhaps an admirer, a sentinel individual, teacher, someone to impress or simply to silence someone from saying “I told you so.”
Raising the bar, even the width of an eyelash had to end. I finally knew in my heart of hearts that it was time to fold ‘em.
Looking back, I traced my obsessive pursuit of success to my blind acceptance of the socially-acceptable philosophy permeating our society.
It is the winner that is heralded.
Those that come in second are relegated to the sidelines to watch the throng of fans, coaches, relatives and friends converge on the one holding the trophy. The losing team slinks off to the bus and takes a long ride home, rarely stopping to think of how well they performed and how much they enjoyed the game.
Looking now through a new, dazzlingly clear prism, I see that the glory comes from trying. The last person over the line made it over the line. They are as much a hero or heroine as the person who, sanctified with special talents, was the first to cross the finish line.
There can be only one winner. Even ties are played until only one is standing. Fair or fallacy?
Life is our most important game. We enter the playing field with no armor and no instructions. We don’t choose our head coaches, the members of our team or the cheerleaders. We rarely see the play book until it is too late. Much of what we learn is trial and error and we follow the rules, mimicking those who seem to know what they are doing because they boast of their success. We wait anxiously for a word, a nod, a reward or a hug that says we are OK. We long for the coach and the crowd to shower us with confetti and carry us off the field on their shoulders.
With all that pressure, obsession with winning and high expectations, both internal and external, it is possible to understand how one can select a path that is wrong for them and end up sitting on a bench under a weeping willow beating one’s breast – MEA CULPA!
It is disturbing to see what can happen to those who are rejected or shunned, whether it is in their imagination or cruelly expressed in front of others. When the result is anger, suicide or revenge is it not time to fold ‘em?
Mates that are always looking for another conquest; parents who do not cherish the adults their children have become; teachers who cannot see the perceptiveness of a student who finds a new way; coaches who never give an eager player a chance to compete and give his best; governments that criticize, ridicule and ignore their constituents actually living what they are trying to legislate. These are just some examples of the short sighted, closed and arrogant mind set spurting out tainted seeds. If they flourish, these seeds will only grow fast spreading weeds that will try to choke out the flowers.
Only when we accept ourselves, loved ones, neighbors and passing strangers for who they are and not for what they can give us, not for the thrill of their applause or to bask in the limelight of fame, can we open our minds, hearts and spirits and honor the special and unique qualities that make each of us extraordinary.
When it comes to transforming the synchronicity of world chaos into harmony and accord, I am not ready to fold ‘em, because I don’t think the dealin’s done.
The Gambler
On a warm summer’s eve
On a train bound for nowhere
I met up with the gambler
We were both too tired to sleep
So we took turns a-starin’
Out the window at the darkness
The boredom overtook us,
And he began to speak
He said, “Son, I’ve made a life
Out of readin’ people’s faces
Knowin’ what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes
So if you don’t mind me sayin’
I can see you’re out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I’ll give you some advice”
So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And his faced lost all expression
He said, “If you’re gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done
Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ what to throw away
And knowin’ what to keep
‘Cause every hand’s a winner
And every hand’s a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die
in your sleep
And when he finished speakin’
He turned back toward the window
Crushed out his cigarette
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done
The Gambler lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Songwriters: Don Schlitz
Recorded and released: 1978
Larry Butler Producer
United Artists Group Label
