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A Fixed Income in a Broken Economy

We have been given an unparalleled gift of time that has transformed aging in a single generation. We are living longer.

Those of us who are pigeonholed as seniors, the over the hill generation or, kindlier, as middle-aged or older adults have spent a lifetime chasing the carrot, blissfully convinced that we would land in the Magic land of Retirement. Retirement was the consolation prize for growing older. We visualized lolling on the beach, a cold drink in one hand and a romance novel in the other. We expected to live in the present and not have to worry about the future.

In the new reality, many of us find that we have not saved up enough money to sustain us through our increased lifespans. We are living in a broken society on a fixed income. Options appear to be limited to earning more money or spending less. Easier said than done.

Traditional retirement plans are vanishing, the cost of living rises daily, unexpected expenses pop-up and many of us are coping with some form of chronic health condition. As new technologies appear, traditional functions slide into obsolescence. As businesses tend to hire and train younger less experienced people for less money, many oldies but goodies find a padlock on the job opportunity door.

It seems to be an undeclared fact that some nebulous, unforeseen consequence lurks out there ready to pounce when we least expect it. Perhaps it is unanticipated medical bills, the shameless cost of necessary medications, major home repairs, financial exploitation, a divorce that splits assets. More and more, children move in because they have no money. It is possible that the return on savings and investments you counted on didn’t materialize. For many, the projected senior income stream was dammed by inflation and holes necessarily punched in savings and investments could not be plugged.

What’s a person to do?

You could reinvent yourself. It is a perfect time to explore and seek new ways of being productive, fulfilled or just big-smile happy.

Many people work past age 65. They remain healthy and productive well into their 80s and even 90s and do not relish defaulting the rest of their lives to Netflix. They know they still have a lot left to contribute and cling doggedly to their independence.

Here’s a thought from Betty White “Retire? I’m not sure the meaning of that word, I hear it once in a while, out there somebody did it. But no. I’m going to die in the saddle.”

If you are so inclined, customize a saddle that fits you. And while you are at it, close the dictionary and redefine success in a way that is meaningful to you.

I know. It is cozily familiar in your comfort zone. No reason to unlatch the trap door and fall helplessly into a hostile, egocentric world of unpleasant minions. Except, if you don’t strap on your climbing gear, you can’t reach that illusive peak you’ve always dreamed of conquering. I sense some of you counting off on your fingers some darn good reasons not to engage. You only have 10 tries.

Lucille Ball eloquently remarked, “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.” Score one for the red head.

If you have an ample income, you can delve into travel, art and other uncountable activities that will expand your mind and spirit. Consider volunteer work. There is much begging to be done that might benefit from your lifetime store of learning, experience and commitment. You have no idea how welcome you will be. It could change your life as well as the life of someone you never knew before.

If finances are a stumbling block, find or invent a job that makes it easier to get out of bed each morning; one that utilizes the skills you’re already confident about or one that challenges you to expand your talents. This choice adds some structure to the emancipation of retirement.

It might not be what you want to hear, but many of us have reached that fork in the road I discussed in the last blog. One fork leads deep into a nearly impenetrable forest and the other path, while winding, pitted and strewn with rocks, is wide enough to keep moving forward. You will encounter a cadre of Entrepreneurs on that road. Become one of them. Only you can decide the life that’s right for you, but with the uncertainty of entrepreneurship also comes awesome freedom and accountability.

Even if you just figured out email, there are a ton of reasons for 50+ adults to embrace the role of entrepreneur and create an online persona. It beats grinding your teeth in frustration as an employee working to make someone else’s dream come true.

If you are still following my blogs, I am convinced that you are open minded, courageous and imbued with optimistic hope. With that image swirling lightly across my thoughts, I hope to debunk the myth of the young entrepreneur and leave you with a future vision that will have you scrambling to reboot your computer.

It’s widely believed that the most successful entrepreneurs are young. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg were in their early twenties when they launched what would become world-changing companies. Intriguingly, if you study these notable outliers, you learn that the growth rates of their businesses in terms of market capitalization peaked when these founders were middle-aged. “Steve Jobs and Apple introduced the company’s most profitable innovation, the iPhone, when Jobs was 52. Jeff Bezos and Amazon have moved far beyond selling books online, and Amazon’s future market cap growth rate was highest when Bezos was 45. Overall, the empirical evidence shows that successful entrepreneurs tend to be middle-aged, not young.1”

Benjamin F. Jones, an economist at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University found that the average age of innovators is steadily rising. The average age of greatest achievement for Nobel Prize winners and great tech inventors has increased six years, to 45, in the 20th century. Feeling better?

True, young entrepreneurs have an advantage in social media and app building. They were born with a lifetime subscription to U tube and perched in their high chairs with a baby rattle in one hand and an iPad in the other. They were assigned Usernames before they learned to crawl over the crib rails.

However, stop and consider that it is more difficult to learn how to motivate and inspire employees, manage finances, market and sell services and products than to write code for a cellphone. Such accomplishments are critical to running and building a business. Older entrepreneurs own that experience and can claim that advantage. In addition, we have established buying power and a real-life understanding of how the markets work. As the 50+ generation becomes more familiar and comfortable with Internet and mobile technologies, they will undoubtedly give those whippersnappers a run for the money.

The current technology-shift offers ways to tackle global social problems of health, energy, education, hunger that improve our lives. Intrinsic to this becoming reality is knowledge and experience in science, medicine, engineering, biotechnology and crossover disciplines. It also demands that we understand how people relate to each other, their environment and the consequent outcomes and problems. These prized skills are not handily bound up in manuals and brochures with easy to follow directions. They compel experience that comes with age. Senior entrepreneurs are most likely to have an abundance of that component.

Each phase of life brings a new set of priorities. Advancing lifestyles and circumstances continuously amend our views of the world. That is why I encourage you to discard the stereotypes of feeble, confused and incapable seniors and revel in a new crusade. Today, Seniors face new challenges and will discover impossible solutions.

As Apple’s “Think Different” commercials famously commented:
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

P.S. As I was writing this, it occurred to me that I should be more assertive in following my own beliefs. The Internet is saturated with information and content but it is overwhelmingly complex and, more and more, can be treacherous. I am not an expert on the internet, but I am pretty good at research and chock full of perseverance. I am wondering if I can help. What can I do? What do my friends want to know? What kind of knowledge can I acquire that I can pass along? I would welcome your suggestions and ideas.

I’m going to put on Eye of the Tiger by Survivor and see what I can come up with.

1 Research: The Average Age of a Successful Startup Founder Is 45; (Azoulay, Benjamin, Kim, & Javier, 2018); Harvard Business Review; July 11, 2018

A woman lifts her arms in praise at sunrise

Congratulations to Wanda Larsen for submitting the phrase “Time in a Bottle.” It is the perfect image for what we are all seeking. Thanks Wanda.

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A Timely Discussion

The hands of the clock have begun to whirl around like a pinwheel in a hurricane. I try closing my eyes whenever I pass a timepiece but the ticking seems to get louder and louder until I imagine dogs howling in protest. I tossed one malevolent time piece in the trash and it stopped. But when I righted it, the battery fell back in place and the second hand’s gleeful rock around the cloud reached warp speed.

It hasn’t always been this way. The time span from Thanksgiving to Christmas used to approach Infinity. Now, especially since the outrageous advancement of the start of Christmas season to mid-June, it appears to be a quarterly event. So, being a scientist, I determined to contemplate time and uncover the root cause of this unprecedented acceleration that defies the laws of physics, sanity and Einstein.

Einstein in his famous 1905 paper On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies defines time. I read it. You should read it too then call me and tell me what it means.

Most people see time as linear. The past is “behind us,” and the future “ahead of us.” The Biblical view of time focuses on the cycle of events happening within a year and the relationship these events have with God’s eternal plan. In Biblical time life should not be overly concerned with our time on this earth, but with our minds outside of time in the heavens.

Time is an enigma. It can seem as slow as the formation of a stalagmite or as fleeting as a snowflake and still be the same minute shared by two people. Time is the great healer of souls, spirits and hearts.

It is as the measure of our life that it has the most power.

It is an oxymoron that as time speeds up, we slow down. I am not at all enthralled by the effect of time on the body and mind. With time, muscles decay and loose skin flaps like a wrinkled handkerchief when you lift an arm. Time blends glistening raven strands with grey and white threads that seem to appear from nowhere. Time can curve a spine, stoop shoulders, stiffen knees and kink fingers into bony geometric shapes. Time is very giving. It gives us pot bellies, hair sprouts in awkward places, free skin tags and distinct noises, vocalizations, grunts and wheezes that we never planned to utter.

The trouble with time is it prohibits back-ups, forcing us to move forever forward. We might be able to get an occasional do-over but it isn’t the same as a reboot. We worry and wonder if we used time wisely or wasted it. Did we take it and use or share it, or did we run out of it? How much time do we have left and what will we do with it? I admonish you not to wait until it is too late to learn the value of time.

Looking back in time, I am confounded by the many crossroads, forked trails and steep paths that materialized while I was not paying attention or concentrating on the ground beneath my feet. I recall standing at crossroads and choosing a lane that led me to the shiny package and beckoning strobe light rather than one lined by people in need or tools of labor. I regret those choices.

When it comes to forks in the road, I am known for taking the one least traveled. Those have often led me on exciting adventures, new outlooks and challenges as well as plunges from high cliffs and encounters with alien beings. Happily, I always found the secret path back to the main road.

I struggled on those steep, upward winding paths where progression was slow and calculated and the average pace was to take one step forward into growth and slide back two into safety. The most rewarding culminated in a step up to the peak where all you could so was spin dizzily, wildly in awe at what you could now do and see. Indomitable will finds a way.

Time is change. It defies the natural human instinct to play it safe and plant deep roots in our comfort zone where the soil is easily depleted and we cannot grow. Growth implies moving forward, leveraging our time. Take it from Rocky Balboa, “it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.”

Take a time-out to build and savor relationships that linger in your thoughts and dreams, offering comfort and sustenance. From time to time, saturate your days with passion and meaning and fill your world with the best that you have to give. Give your love, and in time you’ll have even more of it.

Stop checking sundials in the shade. The real voyage of discovery goes beyond seeking a new panorama but in finding new eyes to see it as it is.

I have observed that spirituality and religious sentiment tend to develop and deepen as we grow older. This might be a case of CYA.

Nevertheless, we seem to feel a need to lean on something larger, stronger and more abiding than human beings. If our faith is already strong, we look to God for light, hope and peace and feel the purity of His truth. Others, abandoned by worldly goods, distractions and reality, realize that a puzzle piece is missing from the box, keeping them from finishing the picture they are assembling. They search to fill that elusive empty space clinging to the hope that it is something so absolute, unadulterated and eternal that it makes up for everything else.

In time they will find it.

Time becomes mysterious when we think about past, present, and future. We remember what happened yesterday but we can’t remember tomorrow. Everyone is born young and then grows old. We can choose what to do next in our lives, but we can’t undo things that have already happened in the past. The past can be archived but the future is nameless. Why is that?

J.M.E. McTaggart, in his 1908 paper, The Unreality of Time argued that time is unreal because descriptions of it are necessarily either contradictory, circular or insufficient. McTaggart pointed out that we see the present moment we are living through as the only present time. But, all other moments, past and future, also either were or will be the present time at some point or other. So how do we reconcile this contradiction? McTaggart’s detailed analysis led to the tensed and tenseless theories of the passage of time.

The tenseless theory of time requires elimination of all talk of past, present and future in favor of a tenseless ordering of events using only phrases like “earlier than” or “later than”. For example, “we will win the game” can be adequately expressed as, “we do win the game at time t, where time t happens after the time of this utterance”. I suggest that if one of McTaggart’s followers shows up at your kid’s baseball game, abandon the stadium.

Time is a teacher that provides a lesson in everything. Today there is something that everyone considers to be impossible. And one day, someone will find a way to do it. Every failure is a stepping stone to success and a trial of your faith and inner strength. March forward hero! ~ Swami Sivananda

Clearly life flows on in time in spite of us, imbedding scars on some and kisses on others. Eventually each of us runs out of time. The passing of time is inescapable.

I beg you not to die with your music still in you. Too many people are still getting ready to live, believing they are not good enough or the time is not right. The time is now.

Recently I have discovered that the aging process in our society cuts-off the very elderly and infirm from the experiences of continuity and renewal that make the end of life meaningful. Our society does not provide well for the aged, psychologically or economically. Too many wonderful people are dying bereft of love. My heart is broken for them.

At this time, I will close with a scattering of phrases known to all of us that underscore the ubiquity of time. I challenge you to come up with others and submit them to this site. Let’s see who comes up with the timeliest phrase.

Borrowed time;About time;In the right place at the right time;From time to time;Prime time;Time will tell;The first time;Closing time;Once upon a time;Time flies;Time zone;Third time is a charm;Time off;Buy time;No time;Every time;By the time;Before your time;Lost time;Out of time;Time’s up

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A Round Tuit

This is for you. It is a Round Tuit. Guard it with your life. A Tuit is hard to come by, especially the round ones. It is an indispensable item that will help you become a better person. For years we have heard people say, “I’ll do it as soon as I get a round Tuit.” Now that you have a round Tuit of your very own, get to it.

There is something you know you must do. Yet you’re worried that it won’t be perfect, that it will be difficult, uncomfortable and maybe even painful. You wonder what others will think of you, whether they might silently disapprove, openly taunt you or even oppose you. You worry that it could be more challenging and more demanding than you anticipate. Go ahead and do it anyway. The sooner you get started, the more confident and effective you’ll be.

Yes, there will be problems. And with solid commitment, you will find a way through every one of them. Of course, there will be challenges. And from each one you’ll build the strength to take on the next one. Accomplishment is never easy and rarely perfect, yet it beats sitting around worrying about how powerless you are. When you know you must, then get up, get a Round Tuit and get it done.

Plans often go awry in our hectic, raucous, and confusing lives where irritation mounts and anxieties assail you. It is easier to stretch out on the couch, commandeer the remote and wash down a handful of salted peanuts with a cold Abita and let the moment’s troubles fade away. Trouble is it is often a fleeting respite.

Put in perspective, even the most daunting problems are relatively minor when compared to the big picture. Because we tend to see what we want to see, changing perspectives can change us. Aldous Huxley said “There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”

A pristine brook babbling across a peaceful country trail seen in a framed snapshot, leads nowhere. Without perspective, it is merely an enjoyable two-dimensional shape on a flat surface caught in a moment of time that tells us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes. Oh! How little our eyes permit us to see.

Shoes off. Yipes! as the icy stream awakens our senses and we charge up the bank to recover, take a deep breath and plunge back into the brook up to our knees. We will be changed by that perspective.

To change ourselves effectively, we must first change our perceptions.

Everything depends on what we are looking for and the tint of the glass through which it is viewed. John Lubbock (The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live in) notes that in a single field, the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the coloring, sportsmen the cover for the game. While we may all look at the same things, it does not follow that we should see them.

When you dance to the music you hear, you seem ridiculous to those who don’t hear the music.

One being’s insanity is an other’s reality. Keep in mind that you, like the rest of us, are absolutely unique.

If you let others, mom and dad, teacher, priest, or television-know-it-all, tell you how to live your life you will forfeit your uniqueness. Life’s mission is “to think what nobody has yet thought, about that which everybody sees. “(Erwin Schrödinger)

If you believe that your work is the most important thing you do, you may know the lonely feeling that there is no one around you who cares. Try to see things in the correct proportions and understand that great things are indeed great and small things merely small.

If you are convinced that your way is the only and best way, you may labor under false assumptions. It is healthy to post a question mark on the suppositions you take for granted and challenge yourself to go beyond them. Consider that many of us explain events in ways that validate our version of reality.

Where to start?

Distance yourself in space or time when you are troubled. Distance creates a new perspective. Acknowledge that we live in chaos and that chaos can be defined as order waiting to be decoded, untangled and interpreted. Don’t be afraid to go slowly; be terrified of stopping. “Do, or do not. There is no try.” (Yoda)

Root out the obvious. The obvious, like a rare orchid, is often tangled in the briar patch with exotic plants like Bull Thistle and invasive plants like kudzu. To a botanist, the orchid is as plain as the nose on your face. I don’t know about you but I can’t see much of the nose on my face without looking in a mirror. We all need to look honestly into a mirror at some point.

Some people seem to possess a mental roadmap of their tomorrows. Often, something stops them from starting the journey. Possibly they wait for circumstances or imagined problems to improve or change. They may convince themselves that they are comfortable and feel secure with the status quo.

Change is a risky proposition, so they bury their dreams and never venture into the world of opportunities, feeling unfulfilled at the journey’s end. In truth, you risk nothing for the pursuit of your passion; you risk more by not taking the first step.

Cast-off the fictitious self you flaunt to the world.

Find the courageous moments when you feel strong and energized and stop trying to live the lives you are not living. You cannot be all things to all people. Find the courage to be the person your heart knows you to be and rise to a much higher level. Own the profound blessings and treasured dreams that truly matter and you will not only overcome obstacles you will go the whole way.

Look beyond need.

Need focus your attention on absence and limitation. See instead the opportunities that need reveals. Free your intellect to soar like a skyrocket to reach the loftiest and most productive, positive possibilities.

Today is an excellent day. Open your eyes wide and see how lush and rich it is. Open your heart and embrace the splendor and peerless wonder of all that surrounds you. Welcome it just as it is. Whatever it brings, marvel that you are privileged to experience it. Look for the blessings in every moment and store them in your soul to be revealed when you need them the most.

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The Sounds of Silence

Sweet menacing silence.

Silence is often a momentary revelation of your deepest self, your true self and perhaps a self that you do not yet know. We claim to long for quiet time, but many of us have become addicted to noise. We fill in conversational lulls with awkward, meaningless chatter about the weather or the price of gasoline. Anything other than suffer silence.

Take a look in the mirror. Are there long dangling cords swirling around your neck and shoulders that are bonded to bulbous buds jammed semi-permanently into your inner ears? Are your hands welded to an electronic gizmo of some sort – phone, tablet, video console that is either screeching, laughing hideously, booming or snuffing out life? If so, you are a solid citizen of the plugged-in generation and tethered to social media. Membership criteria include thriving on constant background noise, signs of bereavement without a cell phone and cringing at the sounds of silence.

Forgive my naivete, but what is so social about dedicating hours to scrolling through photos, posts or Tweets from virtual strangers that proffer no consequential or beneficial communication and are void of interaction with others about the subject matter? Where is the deeper, more emotional connection among “friends” as defined in sites such as Facebook? It is often difficult, if not impossible, on social media to reveal the qualities that define deep, meaningful relationships. While our social media friends offer us a great deal, they are not a true substitute or even supplement for real-life interactions with others.

Done right, Social Media dismisses the barrier between real life and Internet life. The Internet lays the world before your fingertips. A few clicks and you can connect with anyone, anywhere and at any time. Nurturing and deepening real-life relationships and the freedom to speak candidly may be unrecognized costs. We live in a hypersensitive society where people are poised to pounce, take offense, and make a big deal about nothing. In today’s society, insecurity and relationship anxiety is just a link away.

Ideally, social media should improve life, not become life. Does it?

Research tells us that human beings innately crave social approval from others. Engaging in social media may be a means to measure self-worth and invent a persona defined by popularity metrics such as the number of accrued likes or the number of enticed followers.

Craving recognition emboldens many users to manipulate their profile to posture as the ideal “friend”; hopefully someone that renders all others totally inadequate and dreary by comparison. In truth, every user controls the facets of the life and personality they broadcast on social media. Consequently, many social media sites are founded on quicksand that will suck down those who feel they are less popular or worthy than others, or more devastating, those feeling rejected by their peers. Ironically, we depend on technology and social media so much that it can actually tear real relationships farther apart.

As such, social media is a frame of mind and a state of being. Consider how easy it is to tune in to the Internet and tune out the real world.

Video games, for one, offer comfort by camouflaging reality with mind numbing music, repetitive moves and fantasy worlds that accumulate points, raise your avatar to higher, more prestigious levels and validate your prowess with the top ranking on a list of competitors. Plugged into music, games, or movies, you are in charge and can fixate on anything but the task at hand. It is a socially sanctioned reason to escape work that challenges us on a deeper level. It becomes seductively magnetic.

Many individuals get their news from social media, favorite sites, friends and colleagues that share their political and cultural views. Because of the selectivity of social media, we can deftly avoid contrary and alternative views. We are content that search engines, including Google search, personalize our exploration of the internet, enabling us to see only what we want to see. We obtusely ignore the fact that various algorithms behind the scenes map customized search corridors that selectively filter information.

Such filters are not necessarily bad, given the overload of meaningless noise and information clogging the internet. However, a valid informational network must provide representative coverage of all the relevant information to be effective and open.

Nothing creates trust issues like social media. As Elijah Millgram argues in The Great Endarkenment (2015), modern knowledge depends on trusting long chains of experts. It is impossible for one single person to check up on the reliability of every member of that chain. Instead, we depend on a vastly complicated social structure of trust. The prime tenet for success is that we must trust each other.

Social media can extort the inherent vulnerability in trust. Networks designed for social reasons have metamorphosed into information and even propaganda feeds. New websites promote links to their self-serving stories on social media in order to drive traffic to them. Many users have no idea that the content is fake to begin with.

Social media has become an easy target for both real people and bot spammers to assault users with information. Children and teenagers are vulnerable to cyber-bullying because they do not fully comprehend the consequences and risks when they post on social media. The increased use of mobile phones for social media interactions can pinpoint a location, making us targets for cyber-stalkers. Smartphones are actually killing us. Pedestrian deaths have risen steeply because pedestrians and drivers have evolved into Texting Androids.

A new trend referred to as “text neck” describes the neck pain or headaches people experience from prolonged periods of time tilting their heads at unnatural angles to stare down at their smartphone or tablet.

With all this, it was inevitable that the phrase “social media anxiety disorder” would surface. The term defines a feeling of stress or discomfort related to the use of social media, often due to an intense focus on the level of popularity someone thinks they have achieved – or failed to achieve – on platforms like Facebook and Twitter. There is not an official medical designation for social media anxiety disorder. While it is merely a description of a cluster of behaviors associated with heavy or excessive use of social media, it has become the subject of discussion and research.

Researchers at Chicago University intent on measuring how well people could resist their desires, concluded that Tweeting or checking emails may be harder to resist than cigarettes and alcohol. Various surveys find people more willing to give up food, sleep and sex than to lose their Internet connections. And at Harvard University, researchers found that self-disclosure communication stimulates the brain’s pleasure centers much like sex and food do.
One recent study found that half of us would rather have a broken bone than a broken phone.

If such studies are correct, the pleasure we derive from sharing morsels of our lives on social networks may help explain the phenomenon of social media addiction – expending so much time on Facebook that it interferes with the rest of our lives.

But, is all this truly an addiction or an emerging form of social interaction?

Like other addictions, we get a titanic kick from dopamine, a brain chemical released every time we receive a message on our phones that literally makes us happy. So, we keep checking our phones, hoping to get another hit.

If an addiction, recovery necessitates retreating from the cacophony of a chaotic world, closing your mouth and opening your mind. Ignore the ding that signifies “you have a new message!!” and silence reigns. Respond to it and you slide down the rabbit hole.

If an emerging form of social interaction, it is not yet ready for consumption. There is no clear definition or consensus of what social media is, can be or will be. Part of the offending noise is babble over the consequences, significance and impact of living online and rarely looking into the eyes of a friend. Is it a slip and slide into fantasy where falsehoods reign and truths are feared? Or is it a two-way street that offers the ability to freely communicate our insights and ideas that lead to problem solving?

As with anything, balance seems to be the key.

When you realize that your life purpose lies buried beneath confusion, complexities, demands and distractions, pull off that headset and be still. Let thoughts of glory, benefits or the impression you make slither away and realize that your purpose for existence remains, always ready to be lived and fulfilled. Life is a gift more precious, powerful and tenuous than any gamer can imagine or reproduce.

It has been said that what you do today gets done and what you put off until later gets neglected. Tomorrow is a handy excuse because it never arrives. Today is the moment to take action, to live your dream and work your magic. We live in a world where barriers are blurred and our physical independence is no longer the only thing we have to protect. Our minds are in conflict and our brains need a respite from this self-imposed digital drug that keeps us doing things just so we can tell others that we did them.

Instead, try watching kids spinning on a merry-go-round or listen to the rain splattering on the ground. Trace the erratic flight of a humming bird or gaze at the sun as it fades into night. Don’t fly through each day and when you ask ‘How are you?’ hear the reply.

“Don’t lose what is real, chasing what only appears to be.” Anonymous

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Diversity

The Agatha Christie detective Hercules Poirot boasts remarkable deductive skills because he can only see the world as it is supposed to be. He is immediately drawn to anything that deviates from the expected. The wonder of our ordinary minds is that we can see the world as it isn’t. Although we live in the present, we can remember the past and imagine the future. We are able to visualize being someone different living in an alien place. Imagination offers a chance for enlightenment.

However, many of us stubbornly continue to describe the world advancing around us as if we gazed through unmarred, unbiased, transparent lenses with 20/20 vision. In truth, deeply rooted bias and prejudices shape our perceptions and responses. Words, assumptions, images, opinions and fantasies seep unfiltered into our conscience tumbling into each other, bouncing off our memory cells and settling into the crevices of our sensibilities.

Our particular biases filter new information, ideas and experiences based on what we already know. Thus, we don’t need to start anew on everything that we do and can assume that something is true without proof. Over time, we develop an understanding of right and wrong.

A bias becomes dangerous if it unreasonably shades our perceptions and causes us to prejudge others.

It goes awry when we fear we are wrong. Being wrong hints there may be something wrong with us. The antidote is to always be right so we can feel smart, accountable, and secure. But be wary of your highly prized internal sense of rightness. It isn’t a trustworthy guide to the tangible real time world. We only pretend it is. This little white lie allows us suppress the chance that we could be wrong and encourages us to commit mindless and senseless acts of conceit.

The catch is that not everybody agrees with our brilliant perceptions. That can be quite a conundrum. How can you be right if others disagree?

Well, perhaps they don’t have access to all the information. Magnanimously, we share what we know with them, shining a light into the darkness so they can find their way to the truth. And if they still miss the point and continue to argue, we conclude they don’t have the brain capacity to understand. Idiots all.

If it turns out that their IQ is higher than ours yet they still dispute that we are correct, we might assume they have a hidden agenda and are purposefully misrepresenting the truth – a conspiracy is afoot. This connection to our own rightness thwarts our ability to correct mistakes, right injustices or reverse inequities.

“Of course, I may be wrong. But I don’t think so,” is probably the best concession we allow ourself.

We reject the innate capacity of humans to mess up. We forget that those who tell us only what we want to hear, do so for their benefit, not ours. Those who always agree with our every utterance, cannot provide us with anything of real value. Those who give us everything we want without expecting anything in return, can end up making us powerless and overly dependent.

Conversely, those who challenge us, help us to grow stronger. Those who respect us enough to give their true opinion, provide valuable feedback.

If we choose to reject others because we do not know or understand their inner worth, we miss out on the possibility of finding a friend, companion, colleague or perhaps a soul mate. And we in turn may become bitter, angry and cynical. We lose our joy and zest for life.

Better to seek out the honor, courage, beauty, dignity and the love others embody. These traits are sometimes expressed openly but more often are hidden, tightly bound and protectively held, sometimes simply out of shyness, uncertainty, indecision, or anxiety.

It takes commitment and sacrifices to move forward, forgive ourselves and reconcile with others that may have hurt or offended us. This may be our shakiest step since that first baby step. Although that endeavor often landed us on our butt, perseverance and encouragement got us up and moving.

Tomorrow is a concept but we stand eye to eye with today. Choose today to reevaluate perspectives, shake off clinging prejudices and take meaningful action. Accepting each other’s uniqueness, taking time to understand and value the differences in every person builds relationships. That is a gift without equal that will keep showering us with amazing possibilities.

As we age, the time to bring meaning to our life grows shorter. Don’t wait too long to reject the fictitious self you wear like a beloved frock for all to see. Loose the lives you have been afraid to live. Let go of envy, anger and despair. Focus, not with being right, but with how you can make it better.

There are times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time we fail to protest. (Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and Nobel Laureate.)

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